


Self-Control

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Coming Out, Confessions, Exploration, Exploring feelings, First Time, Frottage, Killugon - Freeform, M/M, New Relationship, Oral Sex, heated, whale island
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-17 07:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21050909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He was used to holding back his feelings. If he showed Gon this side of him, everything would change. The side of him that is primitive, possessive, sexual— everything that can ruin a strong bond of innocence and friendship.But Gon is no longer just a friend, and his self-control is growing thin.





	1. You Weren't Supposed To See That

He is losing control.

Killua clenches his fingers into the fabric of Gon’s yellow sweater, another kiss on the neck and two more a little lower. Time has come to a halt yet he is kissing and biting the living  hell out of Gon more quickly than the mere seconds should allow. 

The bed beneath them squeaks softly with his aggression. Somewhere in the back of his mind he makes it a point to keep the volume down, but right now the hunter beneath him is at the forefront of his concern. 

He lifts his face up for a breath. Gon’s dark lashes are fluttered shut and wow, is he beautiful. His rough lips are ajar and his brows are furrowed slightly. The heat can be felt radiating from his tanned skin underneath Killua’s lips with yet another love bite and he  _can’t_ _get_ _enough._

This is intense— more intense than the two were used to with this newly found intimacy. Yet.. 

“I want more,” Killua growls, teeth against his neck, and he definitely did not mean for that to come out. His cheeks flush but he has to stand by his words now, god dammit, as embarrassing as they are. He’s already in too deep. 

Gon sucks his breath in. He’s more than eager to tug his sweater up to reveal his toned stomach and chest. Killua’s gaze trails over his torso— his muscles carved from the countless hours the two had spent training together, black body hair crawling up his abdomen in a thin line from his crotch, perky pink nipples. 

Blue eyes meet brown ones and for that moment, the world goes silent. Right now, nothing else matters. Just Gon and Killua— they’ve never needed it any other way. 

Killua freezes in alarm just before his lips finally meet his exposed chest. Fuck. He really lowered his guard there. 

Gon’s bedroom door opens and they’re screwed. 

“Gon, can you-” Mid sentence,  Mito shrieks with a bright pink face and wide eyes,quickly turning back out the door.

“Downstairs, dining room table,  _NOW_! ” 

——

It’s been a while since Killua has visited Whale Island; last time he and Gon were only 12 and the island seemed a lot bigger. The animals larger, the fish harder to catch, the forests more vast. He wishes he could say Gon’s family unnerved him more back then, but as it stands that is absolutely not the case. 

Killua wants to bury himself in a hole. 

Gon’s great grandmother Abe carries a knowing smile as she sits at the end of the wooden table. She sips her tea with closed eyes. They both take a seat.

Gon doesn’t seem that flustered considering the circumstances. Killua can NOT relate. He’s only visited once and does not know Mito very well, but he cannot help but expect the indefinite screaming that would have come from his own mom if she found them like that.

He nudges his boyfriend. “Hey.. did you ever tell her?”

Gon smiles weakly. “About that, I was going to save it for dinner as a surprise. I really wasn’t expecting her to find out like that.” He scratches the back of his head sheepishly. 

“We’re dumbasses.” 

Gon chuckles at that.  ”It could have been worse.”

Gon’s great grandmother interjects mischievously, “I might be hard of hearing, but two whispering boys always piques my interest.” 

“It’s nothing Gramma,” he says, glancing at Killua. The two exchange a playful look.

A few moments of silence until Mito makes her way down the stairs and sits herself in front of them. 

Killua shuffles in his seat and Gon sits attentively. Her eyes shift between the two teens and she breathes out a sigh. “Well I suppose it’s that age for you two. I just wasn’t expecting that, really. Is this something new, or..?” 

Killua gazes softly in front of him. It was both new and so _not_ that he didn’t know how to respond. The heated make-outs? Definitely not the norm, as Gon had only begun to admit his budding romantic feelings several days prior. Killua on the other hand— his feelings were a vibrant flower compared to those mere buds that curiously began navigating what it meant to be in love. He’s been in it for the long run, and in that sense, “this” is hardly new at all. 

Gon is already answering with surprising enthusiasm, explaining to his aunt the realization that his feelings were something more. He’s lost in his thoughts now and the words are beginning to drown out as his blue eyes now soften on Gon. The only partner he’s had, for that matter. He doesn’t want that to change.

He’ll let his boyfriend take the lead on this one. 

Killua feels strong fingers weave throughout his own from under the table. A quick smile from Gon as he’s talking. He must have noticed how he zoned out; he tends to do that a lot, especially when it comes to those sappy romantic musings.  _A weakness_,  his big brother would say.

Killua smiles back.

“—And so we decided we’d pay a visit here. I was planning to surprise you and Gramma at dinner, since I know you liked Killua last time he was over. And, well..”

“We got carried away,” Killua added to the conversation, now looking Mito earnestly in the eyes. “It won’t happen again.” 

Mito smiles at the two. “I’m just happy to see you two have found love with each other, honestly. —Although from now on, the bedroom door stays open while Killua’s here. I don’t care what you two do out on your own, but no funky business in the house, got it? You don’t want to be like your father was, Gon, do _not_ get me started.”

“Mito-san..” 

“And Killua, I don’t know how your parents raised you about dating but this kid doesn’t put up with any less than he deserves.” 

“Mito-san!” 

Killua chuckles to himself at the fact Gon is getting a little flustered— it’s usually the other way around— and how Mito would say something so obvious to him. If he’s come to learn anything about Gon, without a doubt it’s  _that._

“Can we go now? I want to show Killua the new harbor and it’s almost sundown.” Killua too is itching to get up and out of the house, especially after all that.

“Yes, you’re free now. Dinner won’t take long, are you sure you don’t want to wait? It’s both of your first day back.”

Gon smiles. “We can make up for it in the morning, eh?” 

Whether it be from eagerness to get out and venture or to simply escape the situation, they’re gone within seconds. Mito watches them race in the distance through the window, disappearing over the hill that the house perched on. 

“Those two are cute together, you know. It looks like he’s growing up.” 

Mito looks behind her and catches her grandmother’s eye with a faint smile. “Yes, he is.. I don’t know whether to be proud or terrified. At this point, all I can do is trust that he’s making the right decisions.”


	2. Time Alone?

“Well, that went a lot better than expected.”

The two stroll along the Whale Island shoreline now. Gon collects interesting shells he finds on the way and Killua stares out at the ocean as he walks, hands stuffed in his pockets. The breeze from both Autumn and the ocean chill their ears.

With a soft laugh, “What were you expecting? Mito-san can be strict sometimes, but at least her heart is in the right place.”

”Your aunt looked like she was going to freak when she came in.” 

“She was just surprised, really. I just don’t think she was expecting anything out of me when it comes to romance.”

Well, that’s one thing both their motherly figures have in common. Killua frowns at the thought of his parents’ mentally on romance— basically non-existent. Marriage is for family and finance’s sake in their eyes, and he can’t recall hardly any moments he’s seen affection between his parents. It’s miraculous how his father tolerated his crazy bitch of a mom. 

“My mom would kill me if she walked in on something like that. With a girl it’d be bad, but with you? She’d lose it.” 

“We won’t have to worry about any of that. Mito-san’s usually pretty relaxed when it comes to things like that.” He swings his arms casually as he walks.

Killua raises a brow. “Things like that? You’ve had those kinds of conversations with her before?” He was pretty certain they’re each other’s first loves. 

“Well, not the same situation, but she has caught me touching myself a few times.”

Killua’s face dusts light pink and he isn’t sure know whether that’s embarrassment for Gon or the topic of conversation. “That was probably awkward.”

“Surprisingly, it wasn’t. Like I said she was pretty okay with it. She just sat me down and explained that it’s normal, most people do it, all that stuff. After the second time it happened we made a deal that she would knock first before coming in.” He pouted a little. “Even though she didn’t knock this time..” 

Killua shrugged, “She probably assumed she didn’t have a reason to knock since I was with you.” 

Gon slowed his pace to match Killua’s and lightly tugged the hand from his pocket, linking their fingers together. 

They catch eyes for a moment. Normally Killua would withdraw his hand if they were in eye-sight of others, as he doesn’t want to attract more attention than necessary, but they are alone and he’ll enjoy the moment. 

“Speaking of that, I’m glad you came with me,” he smiles. A squeeze of the hand. “And I liked it when you started kissing and touching me all over like that.” 

Killua groans in protest. He swears on it, Gon knows what he does.

Half of him wants to comment on how unnecessary it is to point that out.  _ C’mon, I could tell, no need to bring it up like that__._ Gon would laugh a little and poke his pink cheek or something, and they would continue walking the shoreline until they reached the dock. 

The other half of him couldn’t be more opposite. This is the side of him that had been suppressed for years because he knew that if he showed any visible glimpse of it, it could potentially change what the two boys shared together. It is deeply primitive, possessive, _sexual_, everything that can ruin a bond of innocence and friendship. 

But Gon is no longer just a friend, and Killua’s seldom opportunities to introduce to Gon that part of himself have slowly begun to claw away at that dam within him. Each time they get intimate with each other, his self control only grows more thin. One day, he’s going to snap. 

Fuck it. 

“I can touch you in ways that will feel _much_ better.”  It comes out awkwardly mumbled and softer than expected, and Killua mentally curses to himself. He holds his breath and glances to him at the corner of his eye. 

“Eh?” Gon shuffles his head closer. “I didn’t catch that.”

Killua’s face flushes. The words are stuck in his throat now, but he knows staring at Gon with his mouth hanging open won’t ease the situation. He clears his throat. 

“I can make you feel better than that, Gon. I can touch you in all the ways no one else has.” 

The dominance that can be heard in his voice this time surprises both Gon and himself. The honey brown eyes at his side widen a bit and the two stop walking. 

“O—Oh.” 

Killua can tell that he’s pushed the right button because Gon looks at a loss of words and his hand is heating up quickly. He then peers around, as if contemplating what to decide.

“Well, there’s the edge of the forest over there. Do you want to, you know?” His eyes are big and suggesting and it makes Killua’s heart skip a beat. Straight to the point. What was he expecting? 

“Yeah, sure. We have some time.” He’s surprised with how well he’s keeping his cool but doubts how long that’s going to last. Killua doubts the hunter was referring to sex, but the ambiguity of his suggestion has led his mind astray. 

Gon doesn’t let go of their intertwined fingers and pulls him forward towards the trees and foliage nearby. Killua stares at his broad back as they rush forward. Is Gon nervous at all? As nervous as he? 

Seconds blur together.

Before he knows it his back is pressed against a tree, nails digging into Gon’s sides and mouth flush against those pink lips. Their kiss begins with a rough intensity and very little gentleness. 

His hands search for every place to claim on Gon’s body. They grab thick tufts of hair, run down his back, grope his butt through his seldom-worn pants. The last bit surprises Gon a little, as his breath hitches and the two deepen the kiss further. He switches his focus between how perfectly his boyfriend’s ass fits in his hand and the eager tongue that’s somehow found its way into his mouth. 

Killua growls into Gon’s mouth as the exchange intensifies. He grabs anything and everything that is Gon with aggression and a hunger for _more_. His back is beginning to slide down the tree slightly because his knees are so damn weak.

Gon pulls away and pants visibly. Saliva drips down his wet lips and Killua can’t help but stare with lust. “Hey, lets calm down a little,” Gon whispers. 

The pause gave Killua time to realize his breath was being held. “Hah.. funny words to come out of  your mouth.”

Gon smiles a little and presses their chests together, pulling him into a hug. To Killua’s surprise, he’s not the only one with a bulge in his pants. The erections being pressed together are ridiculously obvious and this is _not_ helping him calm down.

“You know, I didn’t realize how sexual you are, Killua. Not until you started to open up with all this. You really like this, don’t you?” 

Killua buries his face into Gon’s shoulder. “It’s not like I would talk about that kinda stuff if we weren’t dating. That’s weird.” He decided not to answer that last part. 

“Hmm, I’m not sure. I like that I get to see this side of you though. It’s like we’re better friends now. I never would have guessed you’re so sexual, or that you like it when your hair is played with. Or how jealous you get when girls talk to me.” 

“Ugh, just kiss me already.” 

Their lips meet once again and Killua can feel the shorter teen’s playful smile. It doesn’t take long for the tent in his pants to re-emerge relentlessly when he grabs at Gon’s ass, which he decides is lacking well-needed attention. 

He hasn’t done this before but fuck he  _needs_ _to. _Arms wrapped around Gon’s neck for support, Killua pushes his lower body forward, thrusting his groin into the bulge he felt earlier. Gon makes a soft sound at this, barely noticeable but he’ll consider it a green light. 

He brings his hips back and slowly arches his body into Gon’s once more and  _wow_ does this feel good. He does it again. And again. And again and again.

“Mmn,” Gon grunts in between kisses. Killua finds that Gon too is rubbing up against him, and they’ve set a rough and hungry pace together. Their breaths are steamy and thick against each other’s mouths. 

Killua is on the verge of ravishing his boyfriend here and now. For so long he had daydreamed about such encounters and now that he has the chance, he is not going to waste it.

“Gon! Is that you?” 

_NO._

Killua’s face reddens with frustration as he sees a figure in the distance past his boyfriend’s  _iconically tall and identifiable hair_. 

Gon pulls away ( _No_ ) and turns around ( _NO ) _ to see what appears to be a fisherman on the beach, heading in their direction. 

“Ah, Yoshi!!” 

And just like that, his boyfriend sprints towards the water and Killua is left panting against the tree. He isn’t sure whether to direct his anger at Gon’s short attention span or that stupid Yoshi guy or... yeah, it’s Yoshi. Fuck him for interrupting that special moment.

He crosses his arms and huffs. He’ll wait until Gon’s done and they can get the hell out of there. Whale Island really is smaller than he thought. 

And now Gon’s waving him over, great. 

——

“Damn, I didn’t expect it to rain so soon,” Gon voices, looking up to the dark sky. “And it’s past sundown, too.”

“We would have made it if it weren’t for that dumb pit stop.”

Gon laughs. “Are you still upset about that? It wasn’t my fault, you know. A lot of people know me around here, especially fishermen.”

“Yeah, kind of.. I don’t know. I’m more upset that every time I want to get physical we get interrupted by someone.” Killua huffs and rests his hands behind his head. “It’s just, when I get all riled up like that, I get angry when I don’t get to.. you know..” 

Gon nods understandingly. “I know you’ve had to deal with that all day. We’ll set up camp somewhere then, I kind of want to get out of this rain.” He’s soaked, and Killua is no exception. 

The rain is coming down a bit harder now and it’s seeping through his shoes. Returning to Gon’s house would be quick considering their speed, and a warm bed sounds nice, but he has needs that won’t be met with an open door and Mito’s mothering. 

Killua gets a little hard at the thought of finally being alone with Gon tonight. 

His eyes drift through their surroundings and instantly catch the lighthouse in the distance. “Why don’t we sleep there?” 

“Ah the lighthouse? I had somewhere else in mind, but now that I think of it that’s a better idea.” A big, toothy grin. “Race you there?” 


	3. Breaking Point

Killua wins. Both the boys knew that the odds were in his favor; he has Godspeed after all. Gon’s fast and strong legs can keep him going for miles, but without his prior nen he doesn’t stand a chance. But the dummy will be damned if he doesn’t try. 

Killua makes his way to the top of the building in no time and peers down at the island with wonder. He’d never really seen it from this high up before. 

House lights flicker in between the trees and the harbor can be seen a little east along the shore, the one Gon wanted to show him. There’s something peaceful about this island. It’s very different than the area he grew up in, which was far more commercialized. 

_ So, this is where Gon spent his childhood .  _

Just as he notices the family’s house in the distance on top of the largest hill, he hears footsteps sloshing through the wet grass from down below. He peers down over the edge several stories beneath. 

“Eh? Who are  _you_?” he yells down to his boyfriend.

Gon huffs up at him. “Alright, you made it. Next time I’ll win though!” 

“Next time? Ah, it’s you Gon! I’ve been waiting up here for so long I forgot who you were.”

“Killuaaa.” It doesn’t take long for him to reach the ex-assassin’s side. That kid could be a monkey, the way he climbed the lighthouse with ease. 

“Well, shall we? It’s getting chilly.” 

“Yeah, there’s a way in through the window over on this side,” Gon recalls crawling down the side of the building. “The door at the base is locked so I usually don’t bother.” He disappears inside soon afterwards. 

Killua follows suit and lands on the dry cobblestone floor without a sound. Several flights worth of curving stairs spiral down to the bottom floor in front of them. It’s warmer in the building without all that wind and rain, and both boys welcome it graciously.

Killua’s wet clothes stick to his body. He begins peeling his soaked longsleeve off and looks to his right to see Gon has already done the same. 

Before long they both have removed their overgarments, stopping at the underwear for an unspoken reason. Killua can’t help but stare from the corner of his eye. Gon’s body glows in the moonlight in between the dark clouds, beaming from the window up above. The light emanating from him could pass for an aura itself. Rain weighs down his messy black hair and the rivulets running down his body can be seen from even this far away. Killua’s eyes soften. 

“Killua, you look beautiful right now.” 

“I uh, I was actually thinking the same about you.” 

There’s a silence which should have been uncomfortable with anyone else, but this is Gon. The two teens take a moment to just gaze at each other. The rain patters softly against the window.

Gon’s warm eyes trail along his body and he feels so exposed. Vulnerable. It feels like his eyes are not only looking at his body, but into his soul as well. His eyes are loving and soft and nonjudgmental. They’re so bright yet so comfortable at the same time and that doesn’t make sense to him but he loves it. He- 

“What are you thinking, Killua?” 

He swallows the lump in his throat. If only it were easy to talk to him, sometimes. 

Gon smiles fondly. “You’ve always seemed to look at me like that, the way you are right now. Even years ago, I would look to my side and you’d be watching me with that same expression. It always made me wonder what you were thinking in those moments.” 

Killua closes his eyes. The seconds pass and he wants to speak but everything is too intense. There’s so much he needs to express to the dear person in front of him. He was so used to keeping his emotions bottled up when they were friends— now that the two are something more, why is it so difficult? 

Gon closes the distance between them, just a few feet. He touches his forehead to Killua’s and wraps his arms around his torso. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“I’m seriously in love with you, Gon.” 

Killua catches his breath. The first year he had denied it, the next he had hid it, and the one after that he had finally come to terms with it. Keeping it concealed was painful, yet the easiest thing to do because simply being friends felt so natural. But just like that, the words were released from his body and mind and heart and it felt so God damn good. 

That honestly wasn’t so bad. That was amazing.

At last he finally opens his eyes to meet Gon, and he’s smiling. A big, bright, goofy smile as if he won the lottery. He doesn’t say anything in response; he doesn’t need to. Both he and Killua know that. 

Killua’s fingers caress the sides of his face. The two kiss just as they had done so every time before, but now there is the comfort of knowing they won’t be interrupted. They’re alone and it’s beginning to storm now. 

“Know that whenever I look at you like that,” a kiss on the forehead, “I feel love for you,” a kiss on the neck. The words are coming easier now. He  has to say them and he can’t stop them from escaping anymore. Gon is loved and beautiful and he needs to know that. 

A bite on the neck. Gon tilts his head up, exposing every bit of him for Killua with a content smile. Accepting the invitation, he nibbles the tanned skin more hungrily. 

If Killua can admit something so personal to him, does he really have anything more to lose? If he admits one sin, why not all?

And the dam breaks.

He can’t stop himself. “I want to touch you Gon, feel you  _all_ over,” he emphasizes hungrily with a thrust of the hips. As he begins to grind into him, his words become more powerful and confident. His sapphire eyes are dripping with both love and lust. “I wanna make you feel good. Make you moan. Make you  _scream my name_. ”

Gon’s breathing heavily now, big eyes full of surprise at that. That was definitely the first time he’s been told something like that. 

Killua pulls him down to the cool floor and he easily complies. They’re both hard as a rock. Killua doesn’t wonder if saying that will turn him off or not because it’s the truth and he’s done with hiding it. He might feel silly tomorrow, but right now he’ll let it go. Gon never hides, after all. He never hides his expression, how he feels, how he views the world and others. Killua always admired that about him. Gon is special and that’s just another quality that makes him so. 

“Wow, Killua,” Gon manages. “You can _really_ talk dirty.” 

He only continues to suck on Gon’s skin underneath him, starting at his lips and tracing down his neck and chest. He reaches a nipple, hardened from the cold, and slowly licks it with the tip of his tongue. Gon’s body curls and Killua takes the opportunity to grab the other with two fingers and pinch it. 

Gon’s breath thickens and Killua’s whole body is hot for the display beneath him. Arms above the head to expose his toned body, eyes squeezed shut, lips pursed in anticipation, erection nearly popping out of his undergarments. 

_God you’re so hot, Gon_ . He slowly trails his tongue down to the waistband, pulling it with his teeth and letting it go with a snap. “Can I taste you?” Gon’s eyes flutter open and they meet Killua’s. “Down here?” 

Gon nods vigorously and begins pulling his underwear down his legs. Killua helps tug them off his body and once they’re gone, he stares. His erection stands tall, exposed, and uncircumcised. Killua blushes deeply. 

Gon doesn’t seem phased. “You’ve seen me naked before.”

They have, but nothing’s the same anymore. Killua had decided it was time they stopped taking showers and baths together when his body began responding in ways he definitely didn’t want Gon seeing. It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other unclothed, but this was completely different. “Not like  this ,” he says at last. 

Gon’s rubbing himself. He’s looking up at Killua all the while with a lustful determination. It’s almost challenging, that expression. 

“Well, do you want to?” 

Gon quickly lets go of his erection before Killua thrusts his head down into his crotch. 

Gon yelps in surprise when his entire length is swallowed in an instant. Killua knows he doesn’t have a gag reflex, so why not skip all the prep work? 

“Ah, Killua..” 

Killua smiles around his boyfriend’s shaft. He licks the length within his mouth, running his tongue around the base roughly. It’s hot and sticky and perfect. Making Gon squirm feels so right. 

Killua feels fingers at his head now, grabbing at his white locks more forcefully than expected. He bobs his head down on Gon and enjoys the tugging sensation that it brings. He never had to vocalize that pulling his hair or playing with it felt so good. Gon can pick up on things like that and knows how to satisfy in those little ways.

Killua reaches both hands up Gon’s body and to his nipples once more, keeping his mouth occupied on the erection. He squeezes them sharply, simultaneously giving a wet suck on the tip of his dick.

“Ah!” Gon’s body is powerfully trembling beneath him now. Killua can’t tell if that was a moan or a yelp but God, he loved it. He quickens the pace of both his tongue and pinching the nipples between his fingers.

Gon had mentioned how much he enjoyed seeing the new sides of Killua, but he couldn’t agree more about  this side of Gon. This was something special. This was something only he would see, and his heart flutters at that. 

“You’re mine.” Killua breathes this against Gon’s erection when he pulls his head up, proceeding with a long lick up the shaft. His hands now claw down his chest and abs. At his sides, across the sharp V shape pointing to occupied manhood, up his legs. 

Gon’s trembling still but it’s subtle, replaced by a needy thrust of the hips further into his mouth. His eyes watch Killua’s every action, occasionally shut tight with pleasure, and open back up again with increased hunger. 

“You’re mine, got it? I’ll protect you, Gon. Do anything for you. I’ll make you feel good in any way you want.” 

“I want to make you feel good, too,” he manages. 

He pulls away from Killua’s mouth and suddenly there’s a fire in his eyes that is easily recognizable. Rather than the blazing flame seen in battle however, it’s soft like an ember. Passionately tender. 

Before Killua knows it, Gon is hovering over  him and the fire only grows. 

“Gon, I wanted to keep going.” 

“You said you want to make me feel good,” he replies, hand grabbing Killua’s erection through the underwear. 

“But—“

“Returning the favor will do that for me. I want to taste you, too.”

Killua closes his eyes. It’d be no use trying to have it any other way.

At that, Gon doesn’t hesitate to pull down Killua’s underwear and expose him. Such a quick action would have made Killua flustered, but he’s too hot with lust and his mind is swimming with _Gon_.

He gasps when he feels a tongue slide down his shaft. His eyes open and Gon is staring up at him from between his legs. Their gazes rest on each other as Gon slides the erection between his lips. 

_God damn._

Killua can’t stop his breath from quickening. Giving his boyfriend a blowjob was great, but being on the receiving end is fantastic. Gon’s tongue continues to lap and suck at him experimentally. His attention rests on Killua, observing his reactions. 

“F-Fuck,” Killua groans. Gon’s tongue is very confident for it being his first time giving oral. He feels his dick hitting the back of Gon’s throat as well and he can’t help but push his hips upward. Gon grabs at them and holds them to the floor in response. 

“Let me handle this,” Gon says after lifting up.

Killua pries the fingers from his sides. “But I want to fuck your mouth. That sounds really hot.” 

To his surprise, Gon’s cheeks brush a little pink. “Oh.. We can try that if you want.” 

Killua’s body is throbbing with arousal now. He smiles slightly and mischievously as he sits up straight. He then pushes Gon’s shoulders down until he’s on the floor and positions himself above him. 

He scooches forward to bring his dick above Gon’s mouth and Gon grabs ahold of his pale thighs in response.

“Hey, just tap me or something if I’m being too rough.” 

“Alright,” Gon replies before opening his lips. Killua slowly pushes in and his eyes squeeze shut. Gon’s mouth is wonderfully hot and wet. 

He slowly pushes his erection in deeper, feeling it slide against Gon’s rough tongue and against the walls of his mouth. He doesn’t seem to have a problem when Killua continues more deeply. Evidentially he isn’t the only one without a gag reflex. 

Killua is all the way in now and he exhales a hot breath. He gives himself a few seconds to rest inside Gon just like that, and finally pulls himself back up the tongue to thrust himself down Gon’s mouth once again. 

His boyfriend surprisingly makes a short gagging sound at that. He pauses for a moment, but Gon doesn’t tap him or protest so he continues. 

Killua shoves himself in a little faster now. His eyes roll back when he feels Gon beginning to suck at his erection 

“Ah.. Keep doing that,” Killua breaths. 

Gon sucks a little harder and slides his tongue across it. Killua’s breath hitches and his thrusts are turning ravenous. He’ll do anything to get more of that hot wetness, anything,  _anything._

“ _Gah..” _ Killua’s movements are quick and powerful. He’s surprised Gon is keeping up with him so well. The thought makes him hopeful about his boyfriend’s endurance when they get even more intimate down the line, which he suspects won’t take long. 

His body is completely flushed now and there’s a familiar knot in his stomach. Each stroke down Gon’s throat is feeling hotter and  _so fucking good._

“H-Hey, I’m getting close to—“

Instead of pulling himself away, Gon reaches up to his white locks and  _tugs_.

That is all Killua needs to unload into Gon’s mouth. He thrusts his hips almost violently to ride out his orgasm, hands clenching onto Gon’s face for dear life down below. 

“_Ah_— Fuck—“ Killua can barely manage words. This is the most intensely he’s cum before and until a few days ago, he never would have expected it to be at the hands of Gon Freecs.

He rests inside of Gon’s mouth for a moment, allowing the orgasm to ride itself out completely. He slowly removes himself from Gon’s lips. After separating from his partner, he settles himself at Gon’s side and catches his breath.

Gon’s panting as well, face a little red and eyes squeezed shut. For a moment the two simply rest side by side, arms pressed against each other’s. 

“I liked that,” Gon says finally. He sits up as well and smiles. To Killua’s sheepishness, cum smears the corner of his lips. Gon is quick to notice and lick it off with the tip of his tongue. “You know, it didn’t taste how I expected it to. But it isn’t that bad.” 

“I really liked it too,” Killua admits.  _If it weren’t obvious._

That was the closest he’s ever been to someone. In every regard— Physically, emotionally, romantically.. he was completely vulnerable. The teen could have killed him if he wanted to. Killua had completely let his guard down for the sake of intimacy, and that was unprecedented. That was really special. 

Gon tends to be his first for everything. His first friend, his first crush, his first love. 

Killua gazes at Gon’s strong face and smiles. 

“You’re doing it again,” Gon says, poking his cheek. “The special smile.”

Killua scratches the back of his head, feeling oddly exposed now that he’s not blinded by lust. “Are you still..?” 

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Want to help me out?” 

“Obviously.”

———

It doesn’t take long for Gon to finish— or for the two to pass out against each other’s warmth soon afterwards. Gon’s head rests on Killua’s chest, and arm wrapped softly around his torso. Their clothes are sprawled crazily across the lighthouse floor, evidence of a moment they could share together, truly alone at last. 

The floor and air are cold but neither of them notice. 


End file.
